End the War on Poverty!

I actually drafted this 2 nights ago and was thinking to hold onto it for a dry spell. Then I saw the Daily Prompt: Groupthink, and thought, “Sure, why not?”

We have a problem with poverty in the world: there are too many poor people. When we have a problem, what do we do? Wage war on it! War on Poverty! Don’t poor people have enough problems without having war waged on them?

The left says…

L: The problem with poor people is they ain’t got no money. We need to do something about this before they rise up and take us out of power.

R: You’re right, but we can’t just give them money.

L: We could loan it to them…

R: They can’t pay back the loans – that’s just giving it away.

L: Ahhh… We’ll loan the money to the government! The government will spend the money on social programs and entitlements and levy taxes to pay back the loans.

R: Now you’re talking. But about these social programs – they are not gonna work. We can make them look great and all, but if they do work then the programs will end and we won’t be lending money to the government anymore.

L: Sure, fine! We just need to pass some legislation with neat acronyms and big dollar signs. It’ll be fine.

R: Of course it’ll be fine. The government can’t pay back the loans either, but when they default we will own everything! Mwaa ha ha ha haaa!

L: Right on! But hey, the folks are getting restless again. Maybe we could pay them some more, tax them some more, and spend some more borrowed money, huh?!

R: I like the cut of your gib. However, to raise minimum wages, we’ll need to raise prices to cover the costs.

L: Whatever you need, man! Just raise the prices slowly, after the minimum wage legislation takes effect, and they’ll barely notice.

R: I’m getting bored. Let’s build something. How about a stadium? Or we could tear down someone’s country and re-build that…

L: That sounds great! We’ll build a temple to the goddess Nike who will bless us our plan for victory over the world! Or at least distract these poor bastards a little longer.

R: Yeah… whatever. Ummm… we could save some money by building it where all those poor folks live.

L: Perfect! That’ll increase tax revenues so the government can keep paying on that interest. Of course the folks living there now can’t really afford to move, so they’ll need government assistance. That means more loans.

R: I’m tired of making loans and collecting interest. I want everything now! The government has borrowed enough!

L: If you don’t loan more to the government so they can pay on the other loans and we, or they… whatever… default, the markets will crash and lots of money will simply vanish.

R: Good point. We’ll crash the market, then loan the government a bunch of money to bail us out. Plus, I can look more conservative by railing against government debt, spending and all that.

L: Brilliant!

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3 responses to “End the War on Poverty!

  1. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Group Think | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

  2. Pingback: The Shot into the Light from Victoriana | litadoolan

  3. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Groupthink | Nola Roots, Texas Heart

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